Golf is a popular sport, enjoyed by many people around the world. While it is often seen as a serious game, there is also a light-hearted side to it. Golf jokes are a popular way to share a laugh with fellow golfers. Here are 101 of the best golf jokes to enjoy on the course or at the 19th hole.
The Origins of Golf Jokes
Golf jokes have been around almost as long as the game itself. The game of golf is thought to have originated in Scotland in the 15th century, and the first recorded golf joke dates back to 1621.
Most early golf jokes were probably made by Scottish people and revolved around the game itself. For example, one popular golf joke from the 18th century goes like this: “Why did the chicken cross the road? To get out of the way of the golfer.”
As golf became more popular in other countries, like the United States, new types of golf jokes started to emerge. For example, American golfer Payne Stewart was known for his flamboyant style of dress on the course. This led to many jokes about his fashion choices, like this one: “What does Payne Stewart wear on Halloween? His golf clothes!
The Types of Golf Jokes
Golf is a game that is often associated with jokes and humor. There are many different types of golf jokes, ranging from those that are light-hearted and fun to those that are more pointed and satirical. Here are some of the most popular types of golf jokes:
The first type of golf joke is the pun. This is a joke that uses wordplay to create a humorous effect. For example, someone might say “I’d give up golf if I thought it would make me happy.” Puns can be clever and witty, or they can be downright groan-worthy.
The second type of golf joke is the one-liner. This is a short joke and to the point, usually involving a play on words. For example: “Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one!
Why Do We Laugh At Golf Jokes
When it comes to golf jokes, there are a few things that we can all agree on. For one, they’re usually pretty bad. But for some reason, we can’t help but laugh at them.
Golf is a game that takes itself very seriously, and oftentimes, golfers take themselves too seriously as well. This is where the golf jokes come in.
They provide a much-needed release from the tension and seriousness of the game.
So why do we laugh at golf jokes?
Well, first of all, they’re usually pretty corny. And secondly, they make fun of something that we all take very seriously.
Golf is a game that requires a great deal of skill and precision, and when things go wrong, it can be frustrating.
But when we see someone else messing up on the golf course, it’s funny.
The Power of Golf Jokes
Golf is a notoriously difficult game. But one of the things that makes it so tough to master is the mental game. Just as important as having the right clubs and swing is being able to keep your head in the game and laugh at yourself when things go wrong.
And that’s where golf jokes come in. A good joke can lighten the mood on the course, help you relax, and even give you a much-needed boost when your game is struggling.
But don’t just take our word for it.
101+ Golf Jokes: The Game Of Golf Is Not Always Serious
These jokes will make you laugh out loud! Golf doesn’t have to be all seriousness, it can also make you laugh. Here are 101+ golf puns, funny golf jokes, and hilarious golf jokes.
Golfer Joke and Puns
1 – Why don’t golfers ever eat pie?
Just in case they get a slice!
2 – What did the driver yell at the golf cart that cut him off?
Kiss my putt!
3 – Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole-in-one!
4 – What is a golfer’s worst nightmare?
5 – What is a golfer’s favorite bird?
Any birdie they can find.
6 – Golf is what you play when you’re too out of shape to play baseball.
7 – What’s the easiest shot in golf?
Your fourth putt
8 – Where can you find 100 doctors all at the same place on any given day?
A golf course.
9 – If you golf on an election day, make sure to cast an absent-tee-ballot.
10 – Golf balls are like eggs
They’re white, sold by the dozen, and after a week you need to buy some more!
11 – Why is golf called golf?
Because F&*% was already taken!
Funny Golf Jokes
12 – Golf is a lot like taxes…you go for the green and come out in the hole!
13 – It takes a serious amount of balls to golf as I do.
14 – Bad at golf?
Join the club.
15 – I’m not really that bad at putting, I just can’t catch a break!
16 – I only hit two good balls today…when I stood on a rake!
17 – Golf was once a rich man’s sport but now it has millions of poor players!
18 – The higher a golfer’s handicap, the higher the chance of him telling you what you’re doing wrong!
19 – Golf is the only game where the ball lies poorly and the golfers lie well.
20 – There’s no game like golf.
You go out with three friends, play 18 holes, then come back with three enemies!
21 – The best wood in most golfer’s bags is the pencil.
22 – Why do golf announcers whisper?
Because they don’t want to wake up the people watching
23 – Golf is a game invented by God to punish people who retire early.
24 – To some golfers, the greatest handicap is the ability to add correctly.
25 – Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle.
Hilarious Golf Jokes
26 – There are three ways to improve your golf game: take lessons, practice constantly… or start cheating.
27 – The man who takes up golf to get his mind off his work soon takes up work to get his mind off golf.
28 – Golf was once a rich man’s sport, but now it has millions of poor players!
29 – In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf
30 – A fellow caddy and I recently helped two aged Germans around our course. Failing yet again to get the ball in the air the worst golfer of the pair exclaimed, “I suppose you have never seen any player worse than me?” My friend the caddy replied, “There are plenty worse than you sir but they all quit playing years ago.
31 – Golf is an expensive way of playing marbles.
32 – The secret of good golf is to hit the ball hard, straight, and not too often.
33 – An amateur golfer is one who addresses the ball twice … once before swinging, and once again, after swinging
34 – Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind.
35 – Many golfers prefers a golf cart to a caddie because it cannot count, criticize, or laugh.
36 – There’s no game like golf: you go out with three friends, play eighteen holes, and return with three enemies
37 – Golf: A five-mile walk punctuated with frequent disappointments
38 – Golf: A 5-mile walk punctuated with disappointments
39 – Golf is harder than baseball, in golf you have to play your foul balls
40 – Golf’s a hard game to figure. One day you’ll go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps, and miss every green. The next day you go out and, for no reason at all, you really stink.
41 – I play in the low 80’s. If it’s any hotter than that, I won’t play
42 – If your best shots are the practice swing and the “gimme putt”, you might want to reconsider this game.
43 – The best wood in most golfer’s bags is the pencil.
44 – Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously it won’t work… and both are expensive
45 – Oxymoron: An easy par-3
46 – I’m not really that bad at putting, I just can’t catch a break.
47 – Golf is a game invented by God to punish people who retire early.
48 – The only thing that causes more cheating than golf is income taxes.
Knock Knock Golf Jokes
49 – Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? I’d cry, too, if I played golf like you.
50 – Knock, knock. Who’s there? Andy. Andy who? Andy to have a water golf ball retriever for the round with you!
51 – Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wendy. Wendy who? Wendy’s ball retriever needs a new grip, you should give up golf.
52 – Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tahiti. Tahiti who? Tahiti hole-in-one, you need to hit the golf ball straight.
53 – Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dozen. Dozen who? Dozen’t anyone repairs their divots anymore?
54 – Knock, knock. Who’s there? Harvey. Harvey who? Harvey gonna take 6 hours for this round – take your shot!
55 – Knock, knock. Who’s there? Noah. Noah who? Noah golf pro who can fix your swing?
56 – Knock, knock. Who’s there? Canoe. Canoe who? Canoe hit one straight this time?
Golf Jokes For The Wife
57 – Nick was in big trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary. Molly, his wife, told him, ‘Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for me that goes from zero to 200 in 2 seconds flat.’
The next morning the wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Funeral arrangements for Nick have been set for Saturday at his favorite golf course.
58 – A husband gets home after playing golf…..,
And his wife asks how it went to which he replies “It went very well, except when I hit that goose on the 8th hole” The wife then replies “How many strokes is a goose?”
59 – A man is golfing when a funeral precession drives across the bridge ahead…,
The man proceeds to bow his head in respect. As the procession finally makes its way through, the mans friend says, “that’s very admirable of you for taking a moment of respect”. The man replies, “it’s the least I could do, she’s my wife.”
60 – When playing golf my wife got stung by a bee between the first and second hole
I told her that her stance was too wide.
Golf Pick Up Lines
61 – Are you sure you aren’t all four majors? Because you’d be a grand slam!
62 – How about grabbing two of your friends so we can play a foursome?
63 – Your putt looks great in those jeans.
64 – So what’s it gonna be today: Stroke Play or Skins?
65 – Are you looking for the fairway? Because coming back to my hotel is the only fair way for this evening to go.
66 – I’m still working on my approach, but I think I have a pretty good swing.
67 – I’m like the U.S. Open… hard and long!
Read more Golf Pick Up Lines here.
Golf Jokes Short
68 – If I hit it right, it’s a slice. If I hit it left, it’s a hook. If I hit it straight, it’s a miracle.
69 – The game of golf is 90-percent mental and 10-percent mental.
70 – A good golf partner is one who’s always a little bit worse than you are.
71 – Golf is an odd game! You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes right. The lowest score wins. And on top of that, the winner buys the drinks
72 – It takes a serious amount of balls to golf like I do.
73 – What does a golfer like to hear from his wife? “Talk birdie to me.”
74 – Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because it cannot count, criticize, or laugh.
75 – What did you get on your last hole? Depressed!
76 – What’s the difference between the g-spot and a golf ball? A guy will spend 10 minutes trying to find his lost golf ball.
77 – Why didn’t the golfer finish his homework? He couldn’t stop puttzing around!
78 – Why does the temperature on the course rise after a long tournament ends? All the fans are gone!
79 – Why are computers such naturally good golfers? They have a hard drive.
80 – The problem with your game is your loft. My loft? Lack Of Freaking Talent.
81 – Golfers aren’t happy unless they’re teed off!
82 – If you golf on election day, be sure to cast an absent-tee ballot.
83 – Careful there, putter fingers.
84 – I hate golf courses with too many trees, I go to great links to avoid them.
85 – How many golfers does it take to change a light bulb? FORE!
86 – What type of golf game did the fur traders play in the old days? A skins match.
87 – Real golfers have two handicaps: one for braggin’ and one for bettin’.
88 – I’ve seen better swings on a porch.
89 – That was a really good shot ……………………..for you!!
Dirty Golf Jokes
90 – My golf game is a lot like masturbating – I enjoy it a lot, but it’s not pretty to watch.
91 – If you are playing with a golfer who says they never cheat, they’re also a liar.
92 – The problem with your golf game is that you are standing too close to the ball after you’ve hit it.
93 – Golf is a strange game – you yell “fore”, shoot a 7, and write down a 5.
94 – I find it a lot easier to hit the fairway when I tee off – if I’m not too picky about which fairway.
95 – Golf is similar to sex – It’s still pretty good, even when it’s bad.
96 – I’m not that bad of a putter, I just can’t catch a break
97 – I have no trouble hitting the woods, but I struggle to get out of them
98 – Improve your golf game by practice, lessons, or cheating
99 – Golf brings out 3 year old in us – we struggle to count past 5
100 – If I hit the ball left, it’s a hook. If I hit the ball right, it’s a slice and when I hit it straight, it’s a miracle.
101 – The best way to reduce shots on the scorecard is with an eraser
Need More Laughter?
Need a bit more humor in your life?
Give these jokes a look.